What Should I do ? [Marriage]

[EXEcuter]

OK, I just recently asked my girl to marry a week ago, she said yes, the day was perfect etc etc... dropped $6xx+ on the engagement ring...

we been engaged for about a week now, so one night before she came home from work, that whole day I was mad and frustrated from baby sitting kids (2)...

before she got home, her son (not mine) over heard me calling her a bitch while i was cooking dinner..

Reason?
because for 1 her son was being a bad ass, and for 2 I was mad she was taking so long to come home that night...it was just a overall bad day for me...

the next morning, her son woke up, and told her what happen..

long story short... she gave me back the ring, and she's been holding a serious grudge towards me for the past week now, treating me like shit and everything..

I already apologized, tried to make it up told her it was out of anger etc.. she's just not budging at all... every single nice thing i try to do she ignores it and treats it like shit... recently all of the sudden she;s has been texting her guy friend, I guess she's just trying to make me mad and extra jealous because of what I done, but I ignore it...

So im at the point, wtf should I do now.. keep the ring until she gets over it, take it back ? or what.

[Biologic]

keep the ring until she gets over it

if yall were serious enough to agree to marriage, she'll eventually cool down and shit will settle down yo. if not, you'll at least know she wasn't serious about the whole thing. it'll suck but you'll get through it.

[EXEcuter]

if yall were serious enough to agree to marriage, she'll eventually cool down and shit will settle down yo. if not, you'll at least know she wasn't serious about the whole thing. it'll suck but you'll get through it.

yea, we were serious no doubt, took her out to dinner, got on 1 knee etc.. i did the whole thing.. told our parents and family..

but i think she will cool down eventually, it just sucks balls now...

[technetrium]

fuck her time for girl 2.0.

if she isn't fully there in bad times then she isn't there in the future.

WARNING WARNING>

[Kobal]

that's bullshit bro, dip out. If she can't handle the fact that everyone gets upset everynow and then then she really is a bitch

[cudd]

give the ring to her son and marry him.

[technetrium]

give the ring to her son and marry him.

hahahah fuck yeah.

[HAZMAT]

recently all of the sudden she;s has been texting her guy friend, I guess she's just trying to make me mad and extra jealous because of what I done, but I ignore it...

if that's her MO, get the fuck out while you can...imagine what she'll be doing when you really have something to argue about

are you cohabitating? if not, it should be as easy as saying "buh bye", but at least tell her why, she's obviously not mature enough to have a grown up relationship

[obscene]

texting her guy friend to make you jealous lol that's childish as fuck, no offense but if if she's doing little dumb shit like that just imagine 2 years down the road, next she will be giving jeremy next door a blow job to make you jealous. not trying to be a dick or anything but i've been with bitches who have played games like this and it's a headache.

[dennis]

Ya I def wouldn't marry her.

I'm extremely against marriage and the courts/judicial system ruling over a relationship.

But she sounds crazy and you sound insecure, why were you mad that she was taking so long to get home? Worried she was out with another dude?

Also if she is texting a guy friend out of spite just to piss you off I would definitely break it off with her cuz homie don't play that shit

[dennis]

just imagine 2 years down the road, next she will be giving the great d.nis a blow job to make you jealous.

[Dr Seduce]

video tape fucking her friend and show it to her, and ask her "hows that for jealousy?"


no but really if shes acting like this now and ur not even hitched yet, run for the fucking hills while u still can

[worldismine]

I think the situations currently unfolding in front of your eyes should be a clear indicator to GET THE FUCK OUT. You have been given a second chance my man... Find a bitch whos not a bitch.

[Napolean]

yea, we were serious no doubt, took her out to dinner, got on 1 knee etc.. i did the whole thing.. told our parents and family..

but i think she will cool down eventually, it just sucks balls now...

she's probably testing how much she can push before you start standing up for yourself.

marriage is about compromise, she will compromise with you 20% of the time, you compromise with her 80% of the time. right now she's seeing if she can push that to a 95/5 compromise in her favor.

is this the first time you've ever called her a name in anger? is this the first time anyone has ever called her a name? is it really reasonable for her to respond this way to something like that? is this your first fight? it kind of sounds like it is, or at least the first of this magnitude.

something the both of you need to figure out yesterday is, the more comfortable you get with each other, the more rude you will be towards each other when angry. neither of you will admit it, nobody does. but everybody holds back in arguments when they care about the person they are arguing with. even right now you are both in a way, putting on an act for each other. making yourselves out to look more patient, more understanding, more timid. this is how every relationship starts out, be it romantic, personal, or professional.

this is why 50% of marriages fail. unrealistic expectations. it's bad enough that most people fall in love with the "character" we portray, but to complicate things further, most people still have an idea in their head of who you will be in the future after they "mold you", after they improve the little things that would otherwise make you *perfect*.

when people realize that they aren't going to change their significant other, and realize that their SO has more flaws than they expected. most of them will bail out. they act like the person they fell in love with never existed, and in a way they are right. it's their fault though for expecting someone to be perfect or close to it all the time.

before you decide on committing to each other forever, you need to have an open and honest conversation about your expectations of each other. you need to ask the hard questions like how you will handle really rough arguments. during that discussion you explain how you normally handle a stressful situation and what you need to do personally to calm down afterward. this way no one is caught off guard. for example, let's say you take a long walk or a long drive to clear your head. if your SO doesn't know that this is how you relax after a fight, they are going to assume that you left and checked into a hotel or whatever. you'll end up coming back chilled out but she will be even more frantic and emotional asking where you were, and you telling her "just driving around" will sound like a zero-effort alibi. if she knows ahead of time that driving around clears your head, she won't assume the worst when you need to take a drive.

this isn't going to be the last fight, and it's not going to be the worst either. the absolute biggest thing the both of you need to realize about fights is this: most of the time the things you are fighting about have nothing to do with each other. when you get comfortable with each other, you get comfortable with venting on each other. sometimes it will be calling each other names. mostly it will just be venting about a bad day, and your SO will misinterpret your loud story as you yelling at her. it doesn't start out as something personal, and you need to recognize the difference between when you are dumping on each other because of a bad day or stressful circumstances and when you are screaming at each other because someone did something selfish or hurtful.

if your arguing over bills, don't take anything in the argument personally. if you're arguing because she's explaining to you for the 25935th time why you need to put the toilet seat down, its a petty thing and you can't take it personally. just tell her you're sorry and that she's right. understand that one day in the distant future she will finally start looking before she sits down to pee. but it's up to you to make her think about it. if you're arguing because she says it would be hot if you would watch her get intimate with your best friend, take that one personally.

any couple who tells you they never argue is either lying to you, or they both have similar lateral orbitofrontal cortex damage.

[Allyanna]

I agree with the others...Get out while you can.

[josez]

marriage is such a cop-out; just nut up and die alone, jesus.

[zig]

all i can doo is lol inside..

beat the lil kids ass bad enough and he wont say shit

[Allyanna]

marriage is such a cop-out; just nut up and die alone, jesus.

josez y u so bitter :(

[theredspecial]

beat her and her kids.

beat everyone.

[Synja]

josez y u so bitter :(

bitter != incorrect

[Crazy]

Did you try to explain it away, instead of just taking full responsibility? By that I mean, did you try to just make excuses about having a bad day and you didn't mean it, etc? If so, chances are taking full ownership of it and just apologizing straight up, will help her empathize and realize you're sincere. A simple, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that and I'm wrong. I promise to control my anger in the future and I hope you can accept my apology.

If you've done that and she's still upset, nothing you can do but sit back, not anger her more, and let the shit resolve on it's own. If she is being spiteful, I'd address that. Tell her it hurts you to see her act like that and you don't really appreciate it because you would never intentionally do something to hurt her.

Again though if you've done that, just gotta sit back and wait it out at this point.

[Synja]

You should give her a paragraph.

Bitches love paragraphs.

[Mysterio]

Idk how many of the people in this thread are actually married or not, but I am. I can tell you from marriage experience that if she's acting like this then you need to not be married to this broad. My wife and I have been together ~6 years married for ~3. We fight, argue about shit and then 15 minutes later we've cooled off and aired what needed to be aired and we're done. Holding grudges doing drastic things like giving the ring back etc is bs. Don't get me wrong, calling her a bitch anywhere that it's even possible for her son who is old enough to understand it be able to hear it is stupid as fuck. She's far from wrong for being pissed at you, however, handling it the way it appears to be going is not a mature way of doing it. Both of you are early 20's I'm assuming?


On a side note, if you truely do love this broad and want to marry her just wait it out. Give her time to cool off and then talk to her. Pressuring her by doing shit to get her attention and trying to do things nice for her while she's still pissed off isn't going to do anything but piss you off when those things aren't accepted with welcome hands.

[EXEcuter]

Haha y'all are hilarious... lol

its too many posts that were on point 100% to re quote and respond back, but all I can say is 80% of you are right how the fact that is is A BITCH (not the statistic type)
and how she is..

@dennis was on point, i will admit that im a little insecure and she is crazy... i was worried where she was because she likes to come home late from going to the bar with her co-workers and not call or notify anybody whenever she is mad at me or upset, she does this on purpose and leave me in the house with the kids... and she know that makes me mad so all that anger and frustration from the kids made me blow up..

I did call her a bitch before long time ago out of anger, over some dumb shit i really cant remember... and yes she does have a attitude problem... but its funny how everyone is saying how she is and i never mention her ways or flaws or anything..

she can handle an argument, we do that all the time.... but the whole reason she said she was really mad because her son heard it and I lied before giving up and actually admitting it.. (these was her words) when i called her a bitch before, she got over it within 2 weeks..

[Crazy]

.... but the whole reason she said she was really mad because her son heard it and I lied before giving up and actually admitting it.. (these was her words) when i called her a bitch before, she got over it within 2 weeks..

Can't front, that'd infuriate me too. She might be acting like a bitch, but you're lying to her (and indirectly calling her son a liar). Just admit when you get caught up in shit like that, it'll work out better in the long run.

Still doesn't justify her being spiteful though.

[Crazy]

Sounds like ya'll should consider pre-marriage counseling. Some communication issues need to be resolved before tying that knot.

[EXEcuter]

@Crazy yea she's just doing this shit on purpose to get back at me.. our family said we need to consider counseling as well.. I asked her the 2 days ago about it, she agreed that we should go...

so that tells me, she'll be putting that ring back on soon.. she already losing up a little last night she put her ass on me while we were sleeping i grabed her hand and told her i love you she said i love you too..

woke up this morning and she gave me a look like "Im still mad at you, your gonna pay, but i still love you" type of look...

[daemani]

how does someone stay mad about one thing for more than like MAYBE a few hours? like dont you have to consciously TRY to stay mad if its one thing and you're mad for DAYS? idk. i dont have much input but damn, that sounds like almost shocking

[EXEcuter]

how does someone stay mad about one thing for more than like MAYBE a few hours? like dont you have to consciously TRY to stay mad if its one thing and you're mad for DAYS? idk. i dont have much input but damn, that sounds like almost shocking

Actually it might be multiple things she is staying mad at me for that I never mentioned, but she is most focusing on that bitch thing...

she fill as tho, I was wrong for bashing her in front of her son and my son, but it wasn't for them to hear, i was talking to my self in a low tone voice and he happened to hear me lol

[Mysterio]

Actually it might be multiple things she is staying mad at me for that I never mentioned, but she is most focusing on that bitch thing...

she fill as tho, I was wrong for bashing her in front of her son and my son, but it wasn't for them to hear, i was talking to my self in a low tone voice and he happened to hear me lol

I think everyone's missing the main information in this thread. Basically you need to see a therapist for your having conversations with yourself issues, that shits not cool.

[Crazy]

Lol

[EXEcuter]

I think everyone's missing the main information in this thread. Basically you need to see a therapist for your having conversations with yourself issues, that shits not cool.

smh, your misunderstanding what I mean.. You know how you say certain things to your self at times...(thinking out loud) I'm sure you have out spoken something while no one wasn't around to hear you.. :\

[Crazy]

Lol I think he was just fuckin w/ you. Self talk is normal.

[fr0st]

that's bullshit bro, dip out. If she can't handle the fact that everyone gets upset everynow and then then she really is a bitch

fuck her time for girl 2.0.

if she isn't fully there in bad times then she isn't there in the future.

WARNING WARNING>

[HAZMAT]

Idk how many of the people in this thread are actually married or not, but I am.

I'm on my second marriage, but I admit that the first time around, I got married for all the wrong reasons, and look what happened

bitch probably never intended to marry you anyway, just stringing you along for the free babysitting service

[Mysterio]

Lol I think he was just fuckin w/ you. Self talk is normal.

[Raven]

My nurga, if I were you i'd take a second to sit down alone or with a close nurga you can trust. I was dating this girl for a year and a half and I was head over heels until one of my close cousins pretty much told me I was taking it all wrong. Turns out he was right, the bitch cheated on me down the road.

Regardless, i'd take a second to think about it. If she can't take your shit, someone will. The shit she's doing is fucking childish.

Listen to the nurgas in there, they have experiences.


Also holla at Dennis p.nis

[EXEcuter]

.

no pun intended <3 u bruh

[lowgun]

dude tbh i'm dealing with a chick like this, ex gf who i'd do anything to be with again, she's telling me she had fucked around with a guy now, didn't tell me she was actually with anybody, and we were talking and i was trying to ease her into the fact i'll be comming back/ would love to hang out and get together, and the bitch, flipped, shit. OMFG I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU, I'M WITH SOMEONE I REALLY LOVE (probably for like 3 months?) YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GOOD AND I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, after this she kept trying to talk to me. bitches play games, they want you to think that you dont matter so you try harder, when honest fact is you do all you can, tbh from the senario, she's probably fucking around dude, i'd be worried about it to hell. especially if she "goes to bars with coworkers" idk if you've been to a bar or not, but havn't you noticed all the attractive bitches have guys all over them? js. if she wants to try, then do it, i'd recommend the minuite you two are married, bail wherever you are, move out somewhere new, so you'll know for a fact she isn't everywhere else, ya dig?

[EXEcuter]

Yes I feel you lowgun, thats fucked up tho, my girl ain't cheating, she just playing games and trying her best to stay mad at me for my punishment..

sooner or later she will loosen up, its been done b4, im not worried about her going out and having fun with her friends, she aint that easy, my girl is a tough cookie...

thats where most guys fail at from the start, they fall in love with a girl that was easy from the start...

[technetrium]

FUCK HER.
I would dump that bitch before you are fucked bro.

[Napolean]

Yes I feel you lowgun, thats fucked up tho, my girl ain't cheating, she just playing games and trying her best to stay mad at me for my punishment..

sooner or later she will loosen up, its been done b4, im not worried about her going out and having fun with her friends, she aint that easy, my girl is a tough cookie...

thats where most guys fail at from the start, they fall in love with a girl that was easy from the start...

skimming this thread this hasn't been mentioned, and I hate being the one to have to ask but, is it possible that this is her time of month? for some women the hormonal changes makes them very irrational.

lot of people just saying "oh she's a bitch dude move on".. but if it was really like that, why would you be considering marrying her in the first place? this obviously isn't an all the time thing so maybe something else is going on?

worst case would be if she got cold feet with the engagement, and is using this as an out. she owes it to you to be honest about it. could be as simple as hormones though.

[lxuke]

​wear it like a bo$$

[mcnuggetz]

It's because it was around her kid...i'd be pissed too if some asshat was talking shit about me around my kids too. Truth be told, id prolly have sold the ring and not given it back, so take that as a token that she isn't completely out of the relationship.

[Napolean]

It's because it was around her kid...i'd be pissed too if some asshat was talking shit about me around my kids too. Truth be told, id prolly have sold the ring and not given it back, so take that as a token that she isn't completely out of the relationship.

Another point that was completely lost in the thread.

You don't use that kind of language in front of kids, even if their parents already do. You also don't say things like that about a kids parents in front of them. Something tells me this kid isn't a teenager, and is probably at an age where it's disturbing to hear someone talking bad about their parents. It isn't right to put a kid in that kind of position, then come on here acting like the mother is out of line for being pissed about it.

[jrob]

Another point that was completely lost in the thread.

You don't use that kind of language in front of kids, even if their parents already do. You also don't say things like that about a kids parents in front of them. Something tells me this kid isn't a teenager, and is probably at an age where it's disturbing to hear someone talking bad about their parents. It isn't right to put a kid in that kind of position, then come on here acting like the mother is out of line for being pissed about it.

this ^

you guys both fucked up

[dazed]

that's bullshit bro, dip out. If she can't handle the fact that everyone gets upset everynow and then then she really is a bitch

give the ring to her son and marry him.

if that's her MO, get the fuck out while you can...imagine what she'll be doing when you really have something to argue about

are you cohabitating? if not, it should be as easy as saying "buh bye", but at least tell her why, she's obviously not mature enough to have a grown up relationship

texting her guy friend to make you jealous lol that's childish as fuck, no offense but if if she's doing little dumb shit like that just imagine 2 years down the road, next she will be giving jeremy next door a blow job to make you jealous. not trying to be a dick or anything but i've been with bitches who have played games like this and it's a headache.

I think the situations currently unfolding in front of your eyes should be a clear indicator to GET THE FUCK OUT. You have been given a second chance my man... Find a bitch whos not a bitch.

/thread

[dazed]

Haha y'all are hilarious... lol

its too many posts that were on point 100% to re quote and respond back, but all I can say is 80% of you are right how the fact that is is A BITCH (not the statistic type)
and how she is..

@dennis was on point, i will admit that im a little insecure and she is crazy... i was worried where she was because she likes to come home late from going to the bar with her co-workers and not call or notify anybody whenever she is mad at me or upset, she does this on purpose and leave me in the house with the kids... and she know that makes me mad so all that anger and frustration from the kids made me blow up..

I did call her a bitch before long time ago out of anger, over some dumb shit i really cant remember... and yes she does have a attitude problem... but its funny how everyone is saying how she is and i never mention her ways or flaws or anything..

she can handle an argument, we do that all the time.... but the whole reason she said she was really mad because her son heard it and I lied before giving up and actually admitting it.. (these was her words) when i called her a bitch before, she got over it within 2 weeks..

sounds to me like this kid beat you at arguing, you clearly are not ready for life

[ionbladez]

send that bitch a smiley face

bitches love smiley faces

[Mysterio]

Another point that was completely lost in the thread.

You don't use that kind of language in front of kids, even if their parents already do. You also don't say things like that about a kids parents in front of them. Something tells me this kid isn't a teenager, and is probably at an age where it's disturbing to hear someone talking bad about their parents. It isn't right to put a kid in that kind of position, then come on here acting like the mother is out of line for being pissed about it.

I touched on that earlier that it was extremely stupid regardless of if you knew the kids were around or not.. I've got a 2.5 year old if I say anything in front of her it gets repeated, you learn that one the hard way real fast. She didn't want to wear her shoes the other day she wanted to wear her "fucking boots".............