I might throw up in a minute because I drank too much

[mhu]

I tried this thing out to get my tolerance up a little. I can usually take about 10 drinks before I hit my limit. I started just getting a pitcher of beer and drinking out of that with no glasses or anything. That stuff really starts to hit you fast. I had that pitcher plus 4 beers plus 3 shots tonight and I'm not feeling so hot. I may be praying to the Porcelain God before too long.

[sativex]

smoke trees

[Foq]

[Foq]

Went out for dinner with the gf yesterday. Ate so much I was seriously contemplating unbuttoning in the restaurant. I have been using Gaspari Superpump for like 3 days so my stomach hasn't exactly been normal. I am certain I am experiencing side effects.

Anyway we went home and started fooling around. I wasn't keen but GF was horny as phuck so I went with it. Started phucking missionary. Asked her to fool around with my butthole like we have before. It's like a button. Feels good man. Bitch ended up putting her finger in there all the way up to her knuckle. I'm still uncertain if she meant to do it. I felt this phuckin pressure build up and started yelling at the top of my voice, telling her to take it out. Was too late. She pulled it out and I started ****ting water and semi solids uncontrollably everywhere. I could not stop/control these rancid wet farts that smelled like rotten eggs. Each one brought more feces. The smell was unbearable. I would try to hold it but it just felt like a vice was around my stomach ( was making some messed up sounds) and I just had to let go.

GF was absolutely hysterical. Screaming and crying. Crap on her legs and hands. The bed was destroyed as was the carpet. I had been semi standing at the corner of the bed when we were going at it. I ran to the toilet and slammed the door. GF gapped and I have been calling her all day but no response. Where do I go from here. We have all the same friends. Will she tell them?

[Mysterio]

Went out for dinner with the gf yesterday. Ate so much I was seriously contemplating unbuttoning in the restaurant. I have been using Gaspari Superpump for like 3 days so my stomach hasn't exactly been normal. I am certain I am experiencing side effects.

Anyway we went home and started fooling around. I wasn't keen but GF was horny as phuck so I went with it. Started phucking missionary. Asked her to fool around with my butthole like we have before. It's like a button. Feels good man. Bitch ended up putting her finger in there all the way up to her knuckle. I'm still uncertain if she meant to do it. I felt this phuckin pressure build up and started yelling at the top of my voice, telling her to take it out. Was too late. She pulled it out and I started ****ting water and semi solids uncontrollably everywhere. I could not stop/control these rancid wet farts that smelled like rotten eggs. Each one brought more feces. The smell was unbearable. I would try to hold it but it just felt like a vice was around my stomach ( was making some messed up sounds) and I just had to let go.

GF was absolutely hysterical. Screaming and crying. Crap on her legs and hands. The bed was destroyed as was the carpet. I had been semi standing at the corner of the bed when we were going at it. I ran to the toilet and slammed the door. GF gapped and I have been calling her all day but no response. Where do I go from here. We have all the same friends. Will she tell them?

ROFL

[KOiN]

Went out for dinner with the gf yesterday. Ate so much I was seriously contemplating unbuttoning in the restaurant. I have been using Gaspari Superpump for like 3 days so my stomach hasn't exactly been normal. I am certain I am experiencing side effects.

Anyway we went home and started fooling around. I wasn't keen but GF was horny as phuck so I went with it. Started phucking missionary. Asked her to fool around with my butthole like we have before. It's like a button. Feels good man. Bitch ended up putting her finger in there all the way up to her knuckle. I'm still uncertain if she meant to do it. I felt this phuckin pressure build up and started yelling at the top of my voice, telling her to take it out. Was too late. She pulled it out and I started ****ting water and semi solids uncontrollably everywhere. I could not stop/control these rancid wet farts that smelled like rotten eggs. Each one brought more feces. The smell was unbearable. I would try to hold it but it just felt like a vice was around my stomach ( was making some messed up sounds) and I just had to let go.

GF was absolutely hysterical. Screaming and crying. Crap on her legs and hands. The bed was destroyed as was the carpet. I had been semi standing at the corner of the bed when we were going at it. I ran to the toilet and slammed the door. GF gapped and I have been calling her all day but no response. Where do I go from here. We have all the same friends. Will she tell them?

[Fluffy]

[Fluffy]

Putting some salt on your tongue can help you not vomit, also clenching your thumbs in your fists; breathing through your nose; and lifting your knees up

[pyro]

ROFL

hahahah that was fucking hilarious.

[mhu]

Went out for dinner with the gf yesterday. Ate so much I was seriously contemplating unbuttoning in the restaurant. I have been using Gaspari Superpump for like 3 days so my stomach hasn't exactly been normal. I am certain I am experiencing side effects.

Anyway we went home and started fooling around. I wasn't keen but GF was horny as phuck so I went with it. Started phucking missionary. Asked her to fool around with my butthole like we have before. It's like a button. Feels good man. Bitch ended up putting her finger in there all the way up to her knuckle. I'm still uncertain if she meant to do it. I felt this phuckin pressure build up and started yelling at the top of my voice, telling her to take it out. Was too late. She pulled it out and I started ****ting water and semi solids uncontrollably everywhere. I could not stop/control these rancid wet farts that smelled like rotten eggs. Each one brought more feces. The smell was unbearable. I would try to hold it but it just felt like a vice was around my stomach ( was making some messed up sounds) and I just had to let go.

GF was absolutely hysterical. Screaming and crying. Crap on her legs and hands. The bed was destroyed as was the carpet. I had been semi standing at the corner of the bed when we were going at it. I ran to the toilet and slammed the door. GF gapped and I have been calling her all day but no response. Where do I go from here. We have all the same friends. Will she tell them?

rooooooooofl

[420p]

rofl

[skrlx]

my homie told me once he blew this rancid mustard fart when he was getting dome and the bitch threw up

man i still fucking laugh everytime i think about it

[mhu]

my homie told me once he blew this rancid mustard fart when he was getting dome and the bitch threw up

man i still fucking laugh everytime i think about it

lol

[mhu]

fuck same story different night

I still have some rum and coke to drink and some taco bell to eat, but I just wanna throw up.

[velocitization]

sometimes you gotta pull the trigger, idk

[mhu]

sometimes you gotta pull the trigger, idk

This picture hangs above my toilet. It reminds me of what happens whenever I am puking:

[hardcore]

This picture hangs above my toilet. It reminds me of what happens whenever I am puking:

Would rep if I could. ;/

[Foq]

Im really frustrated now because I can barely squeeze off a nut when I masturbate. Im starting to get agitated easily and get angry for no reason because of the "incident" that is preventing me from finishing off my cock solo style. This happened not too long ago but has forever changed my sexuality. A little background information to this story is that I hardly have time to wipe my ass due to the strenuous nature of my job and Im genetically dispositioned to have long ass hairs. This can make some pretty big dingleberries once my toothless sphincter bites off my **** and it dries throughout the day in the crevice of my ass.

So a month ago Im feverishly masturbating spread eagle in the nude on my computer chair and I notice something tugging on my ass hairs which gives me such a great sensation. Come to find out its my cat thinking a dingleberry on one of my long ass hairs is a piece of yarn or something and is playing with it. I wanted to stop but it felt SO good. The cat started to get more brave with playing with my ass hairs until its paw was literally massaging my *******. The mixture between fur and lack of opposable thumb made me see red in orgasmic ecstasy. I nutted all over its fur while it quietly meowed in such a conforting tone. I have been trying DESPERATELY to recreate this pinnacle of sexual experience in life but to no avail. The only memento I have left of this occasion is the dry skeet on my cat which I refuse to wash until I can experience it again.

[hardcore]

Im really frustrated now because I can barely squeeze off a nut when I masturbate. Im starting to get agitated easily and get angry for no reason because of the "incident" that is preventing me from finishing off my cock solo style. This happened not too long ago but has forever changed my sexuality. A little background information to this story is that I hardly have time to wipe my ass due to the strenuous nature of my job and Im genetically dispositioned to have long ass hairs. This can make some pretty big dingleberries once my toothless sphincter bites off my **** and it dries throughout the day in the crevice of my ass.

So a month ago Im feverishly masturbating spread eagle in the nude on my computer chair and I notice something tugging on my ass hairs which gives me such a great sensation. Come to find out its my cat thinking a dingleberry on one of my long ass hairs is a piece of yarn or something and is playing with it. I wanted to stop but it felt SO good. The cat started to get more brave with playing with my ass hairs until its paw was literally massaging my *******. The mixture between fur and lack of opposable thumb made me see red in orgasmic ecstasy. I nutted all over its fur while it quietly meowed in such a conforting tone. I have been trying DESPERATELY to recreate this pinnacle of sexual experience in life but to no avail. The only memento I have left of this occasion is the dry skeet on my cat which I refuse to wash until I can experience it again.

A+ would read again.

[mhu]

fuck same story different night

I still have some rum and coke to drink and some taco bell to eat, but I just wanna throw up.

I really wish that I had a rum and coke in front of me and some taco bell as well. That would make tonight amazing.