Marriage & Finances

[Magik]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17803471/

"Changing the rules of marriage finances
More couples today keep their finances separate, but is it the best idea?"

Discuss.

[mhu]

"holler WE WANT PRENUP, WE WANT PRENUP!!!! It's just something that you need to have, cuz when she leaves your ass she's gona leave with half"

either way, the institution of marriage is dead so I would always have separate finances

[Magik]

"Husbands and wives argue about money more than they do about sex."
- True.

"More than a third of married women now have some kind of checking or brokerage fund of their own."
- I have my own bank account, but I still handle the bills between the both of us.

"Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz says it's because women now earn more, marry later in life and worry about a 50 percent divorce rate."
- Yikes @ divorce rate. This is why I'm afraid to get married.


"It's always nice to have someone to bounce things off," says Brett Malinski, "and being asked, 'Do we really need that?'"
- Yep, that's me lol.

[internots]

the decline of the institution of marriage and focus on the family unit is the single most detrimental force in our society. hands down.

while both partners probably want some sort of contingency plan in case their marriage fails, i dont think it sets a good precedent to completely keep all (or even a lot) of your money separate.

i dont even want a prenup when i get married. talk about the ultimate form of distrust. i understand people feel the need to protect your assets, but id certainly be offended if the person who i was planning on spending the rest of my life with came out with "i know were planning on this to work out, but just in case it doesnt i want you to know youre getting nothing."

and if it comes to a divorce, let her take half, man up and make more money

(all this for non-crazy girls)

[Magik]

My family = my life.

I'm not in a rush to get married though, I do not believe in divorce. So when I am sure I want to be married, it's going to be forever.

[mhu]

I'm not in a rush to get married though, I do not believe in divorce. So when I am sure I want to be married, it's going to be forever.

I agree with that, so most likely I am never going to be married.

I am in a very precarious position. My grandmother is a geneaologist(sp) and determined that I am the one that must carry on the family name. My uncle is unmarried and hes like 38, my great uncle is not married either. I have to get married and have kids to keep the name going.

If it wasn't for that I prolly would not even think of getting married and/or having kids.

[Magik]

Every woman in my family was married and had kids by the time she was 20-24. My parents are the only ones in my family to be married more than once (three times each to be specific). I don't want to wind up like that.

[joccy]

i like this topic

My family = my life.

I'm not in a rush to get married though, I do not believe in divorce. So when I am sure I want to be married, it's going to be forever.

completely agreed, dedication for life
I'm pretty sure in the unlikely event i ever marry it will hinge greatly on their compatibility with my siblings.

i dont even want a prenup when i get married. talk about the ultimate form of distrust. i understand people feel the need to protect your assets, but id certainly be offended if the person who i was planning on spending the rest of my life with came out with "i know were planning on this to work out, but just in case it doesnt i want you to know youre getting nothing."

I can't imagine ever trusting someone enough to even enter into a contract with them, but if i did i wouldn't prenup unless they wanted that. In a way, it seems sort of insulting.
i don't like prenups/ separated finances and what it implies (hell if you once were so in tune to marry the divorce shouldn't be that bad eh)

Every woman in my family was married and had kids by the time she was 20-24. My parents are the only ones in my family to be married more than once (three times each to be specific). I don't want to wind up like that.

Majority of the females in my family too, my mother is such that sex before marriage is a-ok just don't commit to being married till much older.
At least yours are divorced, mine have the oddest relationship ever. Right now there is some power ploy involving dishes going on, and i don't want to break down and clean them but it's disgusting and hilarious.

Actually the line my mother going back most of them deviated from paths they would have taken had they not married and worried about family/ finances etc.


it boggles my mind how people know that they want to be married eventually

[Magik]

I'm pretty sure in the unlikely event i ever marry it will hinge greatly on their compatibility with my siblings.

Yep. Within the first month of dating, my boyfriend and I both introduced eachother to our entire family. (Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve). We both respect out family's response to eachother.

I can't imagine ever trusting someone enough to even enter into a contract with them, but if i did i wouldn't prenup unless they wanted that. In a way, it seems sort of insulting.

I have a very hard time trusting people, especially men, so I agree. I also find prenups very offensive, I think that if you're going to marry someone, you should trust them 100%. That might make me think twice about marrying someone.

Majority of the females in my family too, my mother is such that sex before marriage is a-ok just don't commit to being married till much older.

My parents were pretty open about sex in the sense that they gave me books to read and had talks with me, without damming anything or trying to scare me. They also taught me about safe sex and had me get on birth control the moment I ever brought up sex.

it also boggles my mind how people know that they want to be married eventually

I do want to be married eventually. I really enjoy the feeling of having someone there for you, looking out for you, loving you. But I am not going to foce it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, well that's unfortunate but maybe it's for the best.

[joccy]

I do want to be married eventually. I really enjoy the feeling of having someone there for you, looking out for you, loving you. But I am not going to foce it. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, well that's unfortunate but maybe it's for the best.

I don't have that mindset at all and everyone else seems to, damn how can everyone be so sure of a want of such a huge commitment, i could easily go either way :/
Who knows how my life will go, never had any serious 'relationships' or any of that sort of thing... neither has the sibling, i'm not sure if it's the way we are raised or what but our focus/ time has never really involved others that way


Eh my parents were open, I was told the basics (or what i could understand) when i was five and asked, and otherwise sex ed was the worst at our school and most parents were/are widely unaware of how uninformed most of us are/were. Other than that we have medical books galore etc informationz is out there

i would have to reevaluate everything with a prenup- especially if i was the one wanting a prenup

WHERE ARE ALL THE MARRIED DGs commenting on this someone should ;X
all the married people i know don't have prenups but i don't think prenups were as prevalent/ popular when they were married either

[robat]

Women aren't smart enough to deal with numbers.

[joccy]

they are smart enough to know you have/ bring the numbers

[Nore]

My family = my life.

I'm not in a rush to get married though, I do not believe in divorce. So when I am sure I want to be married, it's going to be forever.

"going to be forever" is pushing it too far. not all marriages work out even if you think they can or try hard to keep it going. can't really predict how things will be between you and your spouse years to come. so yeah

[SoHov]

Women aren't smart enough to deal with numbers.

rofl^^^^^^^^^^^^




we keep our finances separate. and she makes more money than me anyways.
shared bank account is stupid. we might do it someday i guess but who cares. it's not like the bills don't get paid

[meca]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17803471/

"Changing the rules of marriage finances
More couples today keep their finances separate, but is it the best idea?"

Discuss.

i believe if the man knows how to control his woman there is no need to keep things seperate..........but if thats not the case

When a man and woman get married an a m&a occurs and it creates 1 entity in which all liabilities and finances are shared.

In any event in which one partner within the newly merged entity commits acts of tort an LBO must be executed if a poison pill is released and your LBO fails, offshore subsidiaries within that formed entity must be filed to protect the remaining assets of the newly formed entity.

Thus creating less financial risk within the marriage.

Although like anything else in life nothing is 100% safe so in other words i say

WATCH OUT AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK U R MARRYING

LOL

[qbert]

shared bank account is stupid.

tell me about it

[rmk]

ahaha well against the popular opinion here, here are rmk finances:

i do like 95% of my biz through a corporation. that corporation has a bookkeeper that handles everything.

asia handles all of our personal finances. i have a main checking account and we have a joint one but they are linked up. when there are bills to pay or she needs money she just transfers it out of my account. when my account gets low she tells me how much we need and i IM my bookkeeper and have her cut us a check.
she also has the combonation to the safe. she's allowed to spend on things for the house / whatever we need completely at her discretion and also has a weekly allowance for her personal shopping habits that she either takes from my bank account or from cash.

so basically 100% of my wealth is under the complete control of other people. it's really liberating and frees me up to just focus on bringing in the duckets.

[meca]

just focus on bringing in the duckets.

lol @ duckets

[stang]

good thing i'm marrying joccy, she doesn't spend any money its great

[Jawbreaker]

Prenups aren't offensive when your husband is clearing 650k a year after taxes and has 200 million in stock

and you are making 80k a year as a teacher.

I will have a prenup, but literally put money in my wifes account each month if she would like, because I will spoil the shit out of her, so throwing 20k in her account a month should be a decent amount, and then if we got divorced, she doesn't get the 20k anymore, thanks to the prenup, and she doesn't take half

I'm also not having kids so that child support and life style support shit is out of the question, and would be in the prenups

If my wife is making the same amount of money as me, I wouldn't worry about it and I might not even have prenups, due to the fact that if she is clearing the same amount as me, or more, she is probably smart, intelligent, understands how to manage money, and is independent, and i would not be surprised if she says, "lets keep things seperate" or "you wanna do a prenup just because?" - etc.

Family Institution in the United States is on the decline/breakdown, and it is one of the most important institutions, any political scientist PhD will tell you that, since our government isn't combined with religion due to seperation of church and state [which is a very good thing], you have a direct correlation to the fact that we need the family institution to maintain social services and domestic values in our culture.



Cliffs:

If the girl makes 70k a year and i'm worth 200m, we're getting a prenup, and it shouldn't be offensive cuz she should understand

If the girl makes the same or more, we don't need a prenup unless we want to mutually agree and she is probably just as smart or knowledgable on the subject as i would be

family institution should not break down in the US

[joccy]

good thing i'm marrying joccy, she doesn't spend any money its great

cololege

[Gregory]

kind of off subject but is anyone an only child like me?

[Magik]

Women aren't smart enough to deal with numbers.

I handle the finances, I'm excellent with money because I know what's it's like not to have any rofl.

"going to be forever" is pushing it too far. not all marriages work out even if you think they can or try hard to keep it going. can't really predict how things will be between you and your spouse years to come. so yeah

While I can't predict the future, I can tell within the first few months of a relationship if I could ever see myself being married to the person. If I can't, then that's all I need to know it's not going to happen.