-=[CHAIN LETTER (thing)]=- Need a UPS laugh?

[cit1]

I get these in my main box all day from family and what not, finally, one actually made me lol



Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (Marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by Maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not insta lled on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[jing]

shut up

[cit1]

Wow you read fast dick face

[meca]

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

lol

[prod]

i lol'd irl

[Foops]

I laughed, I cried...it was better than cats

[TrainReq]

ROFLLL!!!

[turk]

took me like 5 minuste to read

because i was texting someone

[UnluckyXIII]

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

That's the one that scares me.

[tispe]

there was a PT Cruiser in the parking lot the other day w/ the license plate that read "FLYBROWN"

My job on the last plane of the night is pretty important since I make sure to mark the container number and weight, and I also check every lock to make sure they are in place and also if a lock is broken I report it to my supervisor before I continue.

[suave]

hell ya

[doolbman]

LOL

[mj]

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
S: Evidence removed

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

No matter how many times I read that those 2 still make me giggle.